Please welcome Val!

Today's guest blogger is Val.

WHAT A DAY. Let me tell you. First the SOUP PLACE closed (and I'm afraid I may have had something to do with that. I hope my cup of clam chowder from last week isn't still sitting on the counter).

To keep in the spirit of Matt's blog, I will have to first bitch about the CTA. I take the El every day. The Green Line, to be specific. And for those of you who are not familiar with the El, the Green Line is not the most, um, how shall we say…. SEXY of the El lines. It goes through some really rough neighborhoods. I've witnessed (and smelled) several things that I wish would just go away. There was the time when two women got on at Central and talked about going to work (and I believe they worked in an office setting, based on the ingredients of their conversation). I know this past summer in Chicago was hot, but GOD. WHO WEARS TUBE TOPS TO WORK? And really short skirts? REALLY SHORT. And no underwear. Not to mention the alcohol odor that was oozing from their beings. Work. Copiers. Files. In a tube top. Imagine the paper cut possibilities.

But the thing that drives me crazy about my El commute is the people who GET DRESSED on the train. I'm not talking about people who show up naked (because that is assuredly not sexy at all. Some groups of people are better clothed than not). I'm talking about people who apply makeup – eyeliner, blusher, lipstick/gloss, mascara. MASCARA PEOPLE. It's a stick of black goo. BY YOUR EYE. That is just dangerous. I am always compelled to rip whatever implement they are using out of their hand and toss it out of the train when the door opens. I suppose I would have to leave the train at the next stop so as to avoid getting mauled. Maybe the Green Line crowd would surprise me and applaud me. Maybe I could be their hero by attempting to stop the public grooming. It's something I'll have to consider.