I am the CTA's bitch.

Today's Commute Song: "Next Exit" by Interpol
Today's Commute Theme: "No public erections, please!"

So, I took public transportation to work today. This is part of my experiment of driving less (not that I believe in public transportation as a "cause" or anything, just, you know, to mix it up a little.)

Today was my first time riding the "L" to work, and normally I am quite the savvy little guy when it comes to getting around town. I mean, it's really not all that hard to fuck up on the blue line--either you go toward O'Hare or you go away from O'Hare. Well, it being an ungodly hour of the morning and me not having any coffee yet, I totally got on the wrong train.

Of course, the realization hit me like --the moment-- the doors closed. ("Ohhhh, that explains why there was nobody on the train." ) So, I get to the next stop and get off the train and, feeling like a total dunderhead, go down the stairs and over to the other platform. Great! Back on track. Now I totally have the hang of this.

Train comes, NOT empty (ever so slowly beginning to realize why driving is nice). And we're off... (here's a little bit of an idea of what it's like to ride public transportation, AWAY from O'Hare, during rush hour: violent spasmodic shaking of the train as we lurch into the dark abyss (yes, it's that dramatic)... some jostling... someone bumps into me... we stop, more people get on... face now pressed against a pole... picking up speed... "is someone stealing my wallet?"... another stop, some pushing, "god, what is that smell?"... finally my stop... "get out of my way or die!"

And to think I only had to ride for three stops. My hat goes off to the poor suckers who ride the trains from the ends.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I was far from finished. I had to transfer from the Blue to the Brown Line train to get to work. For a normal person, this should be simple enough... basically, follow signs. But for me it was extra difficult. I totally took the wrong exit and ended up on the street instead of the Brown Line platform. Hey, it's a lot easier to do than you may think... Anyway, another block and a half to walk (and now I have 5 minutes to get to work). Finally find the entrance to the Brown Line, pay an extra $0.25 for the transfer (lame) and only wait a minute for the train (finally something is going my way!)

Pretty uneventful after that, except, to cap off what was now a near perfect morning, some dude was walking down the street toward me with an obvious erection in his dress pants. I mean, it was RIGHT THERE. This dude's wang probably got on the train before he did. There are just some things that you don't want to see, especially that early in the morning on your way to work. I could only imagine how the rest of the day was going to go after that.

My coworkers think I need a buddy to ride the train with from now on. Whatever, I am totally going to rock this commute tomorrow! Yeah!